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Frequently Asked Questions
My service is available to anyone over the age of 18 years. I have endeavoured to ensure that my services online are as accessible as possible to all users. I don’t currently offer a couples therapy service, but can work with you on your part in relationship issues alongside couples therapy if you are engaged in this elsewhere.
Counselling and Psychotherapy are both often referred to as talking therapies. They offer the opportunity to talk to a trained and skilled compassionate professional, who won’t judge you, who will listen and help you to explore your feelings and the thoughts and behaviours which are associated with them. Together you will explore the issues that are troubling you and alternative ways of approaching the difficulties which brought you to therapy; provide the opportunities to increase your understanding of yourself and the patterns of thought and behaviour which have been part of those difficulties; consider whether you wish to make any changes and support you to do so if that’s what you choose. You remain in control of your therapy at all times.
This is not a simple question to answer. There are differing opinions on it. The answer may depend on which country you are in and who you talk to. Even therapists themselves may have differing ideas about this. Some choose to call themselves counsellors, whilst being trained as psychotherapists and vice versa and many are qualified as both. In the UK, accrediting bodies for both accept ‘psychotherapeutic counsellors’ as members. What both agree on is the research that shows the relationship you have with your therapist is key to good therapeutic results for you.
However, briefly stated, Counselling may focus on a current issue, supporting you to look more deeply at your problems and worries and work through the challenges you are facing in your life today. Psychotherapy can provide the opportunity to focus at a deeper level, looking at how you developed to become the person you are today and how this affects your experiences of relationships and the world around you.
In choosing either it is important that you check they are fully qualified and a member of a relevant professional association which provides clear standards for the practice of its members. In this way you can be sure their qualifications, training, skills and knowledge have met required standards for sound professional practice.
People come to therapy for many reasons, the choice to seek therapy is as unique as the people who seek it. However, for most this includes a search for support they haven’t found elsewhere. Therapy can help you to develop your understanding of yourself, how you became the person you are today and how this affects the way you experience your relationships, the world around you and the issues and difficulties you are facing. If you choose you can explore what changes may be helpful and find support to make those changes should you wish to do so. If you would like to explore how I can help you with your difficulties please contact me and we can discuss what you need and whether I can provide you with the help you are seeking.
I am afraid that I am unable to support you with an immediate crisis response. In the case of an emergency you should contact emergency services. For someone to talk to in a crisis at any time of day or night contact the Samaritans on 116123, if you can wait 24 hours for a response, you can email the Samaritans.
This depends on the kind of Online therapy. I offer online therapy via a video platform, usually Zoom, but I am willing to consider other platforms. Online video therapy works the same way as face-to-face therapy but accessed from a place of your choosing via your PC, laptop, tablet or phone. Whilst this may feel a little strange at first most people find it is just as supportive and effective as face-to-face counselling. Some prefer the convenience and ease of therapy accessed this way. It involves linking with a therapist online using either an audio only or audio and video connection. Therapy may also be offered via email or chat room by some therapists.
There are a lot of therapists to choose from who offer a lot of different approaches to therapy so choosing just one can be a challenge. I recommend you contact several to see how you feel talking to them. Many therapists offer an initial free no-obligation appointment as I do. Use these to see how you get on with them before you make a final decision. Ask them about their qualifications, which professional body they belong to and their available appointments and prices. There are several directories you can use to find other therapists and these two offer good information on choosing a therapist. You can check them out here:
Check me out, use the initial free no-obligation 30 minute appointment to talk to me. It is important that you feel comfortable with the therapist you choose so you can be completely honest with them. While the qualifications and experience I have are important, they are not everything. You need to feel comfortable talking to me, feel that I understand you.
My clients tell me they find me approachable, friendly, calming and supportive as well as knowledgeable and professional. My style is to engage with you as the expert on yourself, whilst I bring knowledge and skills to help you expand this self-awareness and understanding. I am gentle and compassionate, but can also be insightful, challenging you to push yourself whilst feeling safe to do so.
I am an integrative therapist. This means that I utilise theories and practice from several therapy models. I use these flexibly, selecting, or combining them to provide therapy which will best help you with the issues you bring, to explore and develop greater understanding about yourself and your difficulties. As I merge these theories to give you the best support I can, you may not be aware of which I am using. This is because I integrate them so that we can move easily between them to explore how your past has influenced you and it’s influences your present and possibilities for your future. The three main approaches I use are:
CBT
CBT is based in the theory that thoughts, feelings and behaviours are closely linked. The meaning you make of the things that you experience can affect how you feel and behave. By exploring the meanings you make of your experiences you can begin to understand why you do the things you do and feel the way you do. This is a powerful therapy which can make a real difference to how you think, feel and act but doesn’t offer the opportunity to explore how your past influences you today. Read more about CBT.
Attachment Theory
We all begin to learn about attachment to others from the moment we are born. From this earliest point in life, we begin to form ideas about how the world of relationships works. We create ‘models’ of how the world of relationships works which influence all our relationships throughout life. You will have developed patterns of responding in relationships based on your models. Exploring your own patterns and models creates insight into the way in which you currently experience relationships, opening up the opportunity for increased self-awareness and change. Read more about Attachment Theory.
Person Centered Theory
This theory identifies each of us a unique individual who has an inbuilt drive to move towards growth, fulfilment and acceptance, striving to be the best we can be in the life we find ourselves in. Person centred theory invites you to explore your own issues, feelings, beliefs, behaviour and world view so that you can become more self-aware and achieve greater congruence between who you want to be and who you feel you have become. This means learning to trust your own judgement, understanding what is important to you and living your life in line with these beliefs, rather than in line with what others think. The therapist’s role is to act as a compassionate facilitator, listening without judgement, to encourage and support you to do this. Read more about Person Centered Theory.
Each session will focus on what you wish to talk about. It will feel like a normal conversation, albeit using the video platform or telephone. I will ask you what you would like to talk about in this session and we will go from there. I will have in mind the goals you have set yourself and be mindful of how we are moving toward achieving them, however we will talk about whatever you want or can decide together what will help you most in each session.
If you have been to your GP for help, you are likely to have been offered a number of CBT sessions. While these help some people, others find it doesn’t change the way they feel deep down. CBT can help you learn to use strategies and techniques which will help you from day to day, however if the way you feel is related to feelings carried with you from your past, it may not change these, and these feelings may be the very things which need to be addressed to enable you to feel better. By integrating CBT with the other approaches I use we can build on your experiences of CBT and also explore those feelings from your past, understand them and how they still affect you today and find ways to help ease them.
I work with adults over the age of 16 years, but not with couples or children under 18 years old. If you have relationship problems, I can help you to explore and understand your part in those problems. If you are seeking help to explore your romantic relationship I can work with you, again to explore your part in the challenges you are facing, and to consider whether working with a couples therapist together with your partner might be of help.
I am trained to work with a wide range of problems, such as anxiety, depression, anger, grief, stress, self-esteem, trauma and abuse, relationship problems and can also work with unique and individual difficulties. I welcome enquiries and offer a free no-obligation 30 minute appointment where you can check this out. I will be honest and open if I feel I am not the right therapist to help you and will offer what guidance I can on where you might get the help you need. If you would like to talk to me, you can contact me.
I am so sorry you are feeling so lonely and would love to try and help you change that. However, therapy is more than just a chat. Together we can explore the reasons why you are feeling so isolated and lonely and find ways you may be able to change this. This way you can make changes in yourself or your life to reduce your feelings of loneliness, not just in the therapy session. More information on dealing with loneliness.
Therapists will not tell you what to do or how to be you. Therapy is a process of exploration to increase your self-awareness and understanding of yourself so you can decide what would be the best thing for you to do, for yourself. This may sometimes include learning new information, skills or coping strategies. However, you remain in charge of how, or if, you choose to use these, the therapist’s role is to support you to do this.
It means that what is said between us stays between us. I do not share information with your GP, employer, family or anyone else. I do not disclose the fact that you are attending therapy with anyone who asks. If you would like confirmation that you are attending therapy, I will provide this to you, then it is up to you how you use it. That said, there are some important exceptions to this that you need to be fully aware of before you decide what you talk about. These usually only occur in extreme and rare situations where I am bound by law or concerned about your safety or the safety of another. In these circumstances we would usually discuss this and decide what to do together. There are even rarer circumstances where all therapists are required to share information without your knowledge or consent. The full explanation of these can be found in my counselling agreement, which you can read before you decide whether to begin therapy with me.
As with any online meeting which uses the internet it is not possible to guarantee 100% confidentiality. None of the existing online providers promise this. Together we can make things as confidential as possible by making sure that our devices are fully up to date, password protected, and we can use them in a place where we won’t be overheard or interrupted. I work in a dedicated space, use headphones and have made arrangements to be undisturbed. You won’t be overheard in my office. I have put together some points to help you think about how to make things as confidential as possible where you are on Online and Telephone Counselling.
Given the current situation and Coronavirus guidelines I am not able to offer face-to-face appointments at the moment. However, while online or telephone appointments may seem a little strange at first most people find them just as effective and supportive as face to face appointments. All therapists that I am aware of, including the NHS, are also only offering online or telephone appointments at present. Along with everyone else I have no idea how long it will be before I can offer face to face appointments again, but I will update this information as soon as this changes.
Sessions are 50 minutes long, usually once a week. The number of sessions varies and can depend on the issues you bring and the kind of help you are seeking. This will be discussed and agreed with you in the first session. Once a time and day has been agreed it is important that you are able to commit to regular attendance for the process of therapy to be of most benefit to you. So, make sure you book a time and day you are able to keep free for your sessions and you are able to commit to regular attendance.
I do not decide in advance how many sessions you will need. We will decide this together. There is no minimum or maximum. Some people find they have what they need in as few as 4 sessions, others use many more. I suggest we initially agree to work together in blocks of 8 sessions, but you can end at any time you choose. There is no commitment to attend for all 8 sessions this simply offers a structure which allows us to review how things are going on a regular basis. If you agree, we will agree to meet for 8 sessions, review how you are finding your therapy and either agree to end or carry on. You will always remain in control of how many sessions you choose to have. There are no requirements to continue once you feel ready to end and no penalties for ending before you have used the block of 8 sessions.
The first session is an opportunity for you to explore how you feel about therapy, talking to me and therapy online or by phone. There will be a chance to explain what has brought you to seek therapy and to ask any questions you may have. You are free to decide to continue or to stop here. It is OK to tell me if you feel I am not the right therapist for you, and, if I can, I will try to help you find someone who will be. You need to feel comfortable enough with the therapist you choose to be open and honest about your difficulties. For me, it is an opportunity for me to check that I have the skills and knowledge needed to provide what you are looking for, that you are happy to begin working with me and to collect some details from you.
Each session costs £45 and lasts for 50 minutes. I offer a limited number of concessionary sessions; however, these are usually booked up a long time in advance. It is important to me that you are able to find therapy without added money worries, so I have included some low-cost services on Support Links.
I accept bank transfer payments in advance of each session. My bank details will be made available to you in the counselling agreement once we begin working together. If this payment method would be difficult for you please talk to me about options.
If you are going to be late please try to contact me, preferably by email, to let me know. It isn’t a problem, I understand that life sometimes does not run to plan. However, I will probably have another client after you so will still need to end at your normal time. Please bear in mind that this is your time, for you. If you find that you regularly can’t make the time we may need to reschedule to another time or day, if I have available appointments.
If you are unable to attend, I would welcome as much notice as you can give me and I will do the same for you. If you cancel your session with more than 24 hours notice, you will not have to pay for your session. If you cancel within 24 hours, the session fee remains payable.
When we begin working together, we will agree regular appointments, usually weekly, at the same time on the same day, as this is important for therapy to be as beneficial to you as possible. I will hold this appointment time just for you, for the duration of our work together. If you need to cancel a session, please try to give me as much notice as possible, and I will do the same. If you cancel your session with more than 24 hours notice, you will not have to pay for your session. If you cancel within 24 hours, the session fee remains payable.
I try to offer appointments as soon as I can. If I am not able to offer you an appointment straight away, I will let you know when I think the next available appointment may be. The more flexible you can be about when you have your session the sooner you will be likely to get an appointment. If I can’t offer you an appointment within a timeframe you are happy with, I will happily suggest other places you can look to find other therapists.
I offer appointments on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays from 9am, with the latest appointment at 7pm and may be able to offer an appointment on Saturday morning at 10 am or 11am. However, evening and weekend appointments get booked up very quickly and there may be a longer delay for these appointments. The more flexible you can be the sooner you may be able to get an appointment.
Therapy works best when we meet regularly, and while for most people this means weekly I am willing to consider other arrangements. There may be occasions when we agree to alter this, depending on your availability for session, the work we are doing, the issues you bring to our work and the stage of therapy you are at. This is something we can discuss before we begin working together.
You can visit my contact page and make an enquiry using the form you will find there. Alternatively, you can email me using the address at the head of each page, or phone the telephone number also shown at the head of each page and leave a message. I may not answer straight away, but I will get back to you as soon as I can, and always try to make this within 48 hours to make an appointment for a free no-obligation 30 minute telephone appointment where you can talk to me to help you decide whether you wish to book further therapy sessions with me.
If, following our initial conversation you still think you would like to work with me we will arrange an assessment session. This is an opportunity for both of us to share information. I will listen carefully to the difficulties with which you seek help, and some of the background to those issues to check I can help you with them. It is also an opportunity for you to explain what has brought you to therapy at this time, explore whether I am the right person to help you and how therapy may help you move forward. If we are both happy to continue at the end of this session, we will then schedule your regular therapy sessions.